Creepypasta Review: "The Clown/Angel Statue"

This one's more of an urban legend than a creepypasta, with many different variations of the tale, but regardless, “The Clown Statue” tells the story of a babysitter looking after the children of rich parents who are out for the night. The parents tell the babysitter not to touch anything, and through the night the babysitter watches TV in the parents’ room. As she’s watching, she's distracted by the creepy clown statue in the corner that almost seems alive. It creeps her out so much that she calls the parents, asking them if she can cover it up. That's when the parents tell her to get the kids and get out of the house, and that they’ll call the police. They don’t OWN a clown statue.

That’s the basic gist of the story, though again, there are many variations of it. Personally, I always felt the story’s quality was highly dependent on the specific version. For instance, the first original version of this story I think was posted in 2004, and is linked here (apologies for the hard to see text). As a horror story it leaves a lot to be desired. Not only does it explain exactly who and what the clown is, but also, the fate of the characters is just revealed to the reader. Everyone ends up alive, and nothing is up in the air. This isn’t to say you can’t make a good horror story where no one dies, but definitely don’t do it like this, where the pacing is off and the grammar isn’t great.

I feel like you have to already be afraid of clowns for the story to work. For me, the idea of a psychotic killer disguised as a clown statue is just too ridiculous to take seriously.

Though, to be fair, some versions of the story are better. The best version of the story takes the structure of what I just laid out in that first paragraph, and it ends with the babysitter and the children getting killed. It’s a bit standard, but it does make for an alright campfire story. There’s even a neat short horror film about it, but for some reason I can not find the original video so here’s a reaction video instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6fj1MS5IY0&t=349s

And because I’m feeling generous today, I’ll judge “The Clown Statue” by its best version. It’s a serviceable horror story.

Rating: 6/10

But we can do better, right?

Well, in June 2007 the Doctor Who episode “Blink” aired for the first time. And not only is “Blink” one of the best episodes of the entire series, it’s also probably the scariest. The only other ones that come close are “The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” and “Midnight”.

And then in 2008, another version of “The Clown Statue” was posted. But this time it took inspiration from the Weeping Angels, and made it “The Angel Statue”.

I think this version of the story is better for a few reasons. Some might complain about the obvious nod to Doctor Who, but personally I don’t mind it all that much. The idea of an evil statue is something that precedes the Weeping Angels.

This version of the story has basically the same plot as what I laid out in the first paragraph. Just replace the clown statue with an angel statue, and have it be outside the bedroom window. She asks if she can cover it up, or at least close the blinds, only because it “makes her feel nervous”. That’s when the father tells her to get the kids, and get out of the house, and that they’ll call the police.

They don’t OWN an angel statue.

The story ends with the police finding the babysitter and the kids dead in pools of their blood, within just three minutes of the call. They never find an angel statue.

To me, this is way better because for starters, the threat is more subtle. A clown statue is a bit too over the top but an angel statue already has some kind of inherent eeriness to it. An eeriness that’s never overstated. Hell, even in the story the babysitter says the statue only makes her feel nervous, not that it completely freaks her out. That's not even mentioning the significance of angels in religion, which gives the story a more sinister edge. In horror, subtlety is often your friend. 

Secondly, there’s so little explained about the angel statue, especially in comparison to the clown statue. The clown statue is obviously a killer pretending to be a clown, but the angel statue? What is it? It clearly seems supernatural, but it’s never outright confirmed to be. It just lets the events of the story do the work for it. One night, an angel statue is seen outside the window, with no explanation, and then after it kills the babysitter and the children, it’s never seen again. Hell, no one apart from the babysitter ever sees it at all. How powerful is the statue? What can it do? How did it kill the babysitter and the kids? Has it done this before? It’s not easily explained, so much is up to the imagination.

I also want to point out that in this version, the angel statue starts off the story OUTSIDE the house, and then not even three minutes later the babysitter and the kids are dead. This thing is powerful, and fast. “Faster than you can believe”, you might even say. Either way, the moment the angel statue is at the window, the fate of the babysitter and the kids is already sealed. They are never safe here, as shown by how in every version of this story, they die. And we have no idea how.

In a short horror story, every sentence matters. Even just a little bit of rewording can make or break the entire thing. The pacing and the prose has to be on point. And while “The Angel Statue” is not perfect, and could’ve used a bit more detail, and maybe a bit more work in the pacing department, overall it still works really well. It's a great campfire story that’s sure to leave most people at least a little unnerved. I can not believe I am saying this, but we have found a GOOD creepypasta. Finally!

And yes, I fully acknowledge my bias here as a moderate Doctor Who fan.

Rating: 8/10

I mainly wanted to make this blogpost as a way to show how different variations of the same story can wildly differ in quality, and how just a few changes can go a long way. Anyway, that’s it for now. Have a nice day!