Creepypasta Review: "Upstairs"

This post is going to continue the trend from last time. A short creepypasta with two different variations, where a few small changes make or break the whole thing. This time though, these are the same story, just with minor alterations. This is “Upstairs” (also occasionally called “The Face Upstairs”).

This creepypasta is sort of like the 2 sentence horror story “I Heard It Too” (which has an INSANE animation for it, if you’re curious). Basically, a kid returns home at night, where their house is empty. They ask if their mother is home, and they hear her voice from upstairs, saying “yeeees”. Every time they call for her, it’s the same “yeeees”. They become a little uneasy as they reach the room her voice is coming from, and just before they open the door, they hear their mother announce she’s home from downstairs. They go downstairs to greet her, and just before they descend the staircase, they look to the door and see something strange.

Again, as I’ve said, in a short horror story, even just a little bit of rewording can make or break the entire thing, which is extremely true for “Upstairs”. Overall, I like it as a short, sweet horror story. I especially like how whatever it is that’s pretending to be this kid’s mother talks in such an eerie way. The only thing they ever say is “Yeeees”, as if they don’t fully understand human speech. It does a great job of conveying a voice that’s trying to sound human, but isn’t.

The problems come in when we get into the different versions. In one version, the ending of the story plays out like this (link to it is here):

“Sweetie, are you home?” she called in a cheery voice.

Hearing her voice made me feel instantly better. I turned back to go downstairs at once… but not before I had a quick glance towards the room.

While I watched from the top of the stairs, the door to the room slowly opened a crack. For a brief moment, I saw something strange in there. A pale face, staring at me.

Okay first off, why in the world would the narrator be relieved after hearing their mother downstairs, after just hearing her upstairs? Wouldn’t they be shocked? Unnerved? Confused? I know for a fact that if this happened when I was a kid, I’d be shitting my pants. But this kid just brushes it off like it’s nothing. I don’t buy that. Also, “a pale face staring at me” is too clichéd. It doesn’t hit hard enough. The structure of the story is there, but this ending needs a little work. 

I do like how the real mother’s dialogue, being clear, concise, and comprehensive, contrasts with the repetitive, dragged out words of the imitator. But it’s not enough.

Rating: 6/10

Here’s how the ending to another version is written (link to it is here):

Just as I reached for the handle of the door to let myself in to the room I heard the front door downstairs open and my mother call “Sweetie, are you home?” in a cheery voice.

I jumped back, startled and ran down the stairs to her, but as I glanced back from the top of the stairs, the door to the room slowly opened a crack. 

For a brief moment, I saw something strange in there, and I don’t know what it was, but it was staring at me.

This is much better. The narrator is startled to hear their mother’s voice, not relieved, and after they run to the stairs to see her, they see something strange in that room. They can’t even explain what it is, but they can tell it’s staring at them. That is much more effective than just “a pale face”.

Even before the ending, this version has some nice added detail. Like setting the scene of how old and large the house is, and explaining how the narrator knows seeing their mother will ease their fear, as that’s just what a mother’s presence does for a child. It has much better pacing than the other version. 

Much like “The Angel Statue”, I’d dare say this is a good creepypasta. A short one that gets right to the point and delivers on the scares. A solid campfire story.

Rating: 8/10

Well, this was another shorter post. Short stories are just easier to do, sorry. See you all next time.