Top 12 Worst Hit Songs of 2011

Top 12 Worst Hit Songs of 2011

2011 was the first year of the 2010s that truly felt like the start of a new decade. This was the transition year between the club boom and indie pop boom, and just by listening to the Year-End you can tell the 2000s are over. Most of the big songs this year could not have charted in the 2000s.

After the boring mediocrity of 2010, 2011 was a breath of a fresh air. I wouldn't say this was a good year for the Hot 100, but it was decent. The 2011 Year-End has certainly aged better than the 2010 Year-End at least. Obviously though, not every song felt good to go back to. So, here are the worst hit songs that 2011 had to offer.

#12: Dr. Dre ft. Eminem, Skylar Grey- I Need a Doctor

The best word I can use to describe I Need a Doctor is overdramatic. At risk of copying Todd in the Shadows, I'm just going to quote him directly. Besides, I don't think I could put it any better than he did in his worst hit songs of 2011 video:

"I Need a Doctor," in which Eminem all but begs Dr. Dre to get off his ass and finish Detox, the album he's been working on for nine freaking years.

That sums up all of Eminem's verses. He's practically screaming at Dr. Dre, and it's so melodramatic. It's like a soap opera. Skylar Grey's chorus really seals the deal here, especially with how her voice is slathered in filters. Maybe I shouldn't complain too much though as that's easily the best part of the song, even if it's only really good for Doctor Who AMVs. It's certainly better than Eminem's part. Eminem has always been an aggressive rapper, but in this song it sounds forced. The production is pretty awful too, one of Alex da Kid's worst. The mixing is so bad the percussion doesn't even sound like it's from the same song as everything else. At the front of the mix there are these weird synthesizers that sound like they came out of a broken NES game. What sound were they even going for here? They couldn't even do melodrama right. I could go on for hours about all the dumb lines here, but one in particular really stood out to me.

But it just dawned on me, you lost a son

So in 2008, one of Dr. Dre's sons, Andre, died of a heroin overdose, something that undoubtedly left a huge scar on him. I'm not mad that Eminem brought this up in his verse, but what confuses me is that he and Dr. Dre believed making a song about Dr. Dre not finishing Detox was a better idea than making a song about his dead son. Not that you're obligated to make songs about your dead relatives, but it's certainly better to do that than make a song about not finishing an album that's as overdramatic as this. That line is only barely connected to the rest of the lyrics anyway. This doesn't even sound like a Dr. Dre song, it sounds like a rejected track off Eminem's Recovery. And I think Dr. Dre thought so too considering how he's barely in this song. He only has one verse and he completely half-asses it.

Went through friends, some of them I put on, but they just left
They said they was ridin' to the death
But where the fuck are they now, now that I need them?
I don't see none of them, all I see is Slim
Fuck all you fair-weather friends, all I need is him

Fuckin' backstabbers
When the chips were down, you just laughed at us
Now you 'bout to feel the fuckin' wrath of Aftermath, faggots

Yeah, this doesn't sound powerful, it sounds bitter. If this song is any indication of what Detox would've been like, it's probably for the best the album was scrapped. Well, at least Compton was alright.

#11: Chris Brown ft. Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne- Look At Me Now

Oh boy, a Chris Brown song. Guess I'll do what I did in the 2010 list, say I'm not going to regurgitate the Chris Brown rant before immediately regurgitating the Chris Brown rant. Look, this time I'll leave it at this, Chris Brown has an insufferable personality that absolutely comes through when he makes a brag rap song like this. Look At Me Now would've been bad no matter who made it, but the fact that it's by Chris Brown, a serial domestic abuser makes it all the worse. It's especially hard to listen to him in particular brag about how famous he is, how much money he makes, and how much women love him. Barring that, there's still problems with the song. The production is gross sounding, but not really for any reason. It doesn't fit the tone of a brag rap song, and it doesn't even sound finished. The high pitched synthesizer that constantly plays at the front of the mix in the verses sounds out of place in such an empty mix. And yeah, it's pretty annoying. The worst part of this song is, of course, Chris Brown. And not just because of his personality, he actually tries to rap here.

Yellow model chick, yellow bottle sippin'
Yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missin'
Yeah, yeah, that shit look like a toupée
I get what you get in ten years in two days

It's embarrassing. Someone really should've taken the mic from him. Also, this hook is pathetic.

Look at me now, look at me now (Oh)
I'm gettin' paper
Look at me now (Oh), look at me now (Yeah)
Fresher than a muh'fucka

I kinda like Busta Rhymes' and Lil Wayne's verses, even if a lot of their bars sound half-assed. It's like they were making it up on the spot. Still it's ten times better than what Chris Brown managed to shit out. Busta Rhymes is rapping fast here but it doesn't sound as impressive as it should be because again, his bars aren't good. It's more of a gimmick than an artistic move. I felt the same way about Eminem's fast rapping in Rap God and Godzilla. The way they introduce Busta Rhymes' verse is pretty obnoxious. First, Chris Brown spits out one of the worst verses in hip hop history.

Oops, I said "On my dick"
I ain't really mean to say "On my dick"
But since we talkin' about my dick
All of you haters say hi to it
I'm done

Then they do a spoken interlude where Busta Rhymes talks to Chris Brown about "how it's done". "This is how you're supposed to rap". I don't find the acknowledgement that Chris Brown is a shitty rapper to be funny or quirky. Self deprecating humor is not funny by default. It's not as bad as Deuces, but Look at Me Now is still a dickish, unlikable song as is.

#10: Jason Derulo- Don't Wanna Go Home

This feels like a P. Diddy song. It samples multiple other pop songs, none of the samples are used well, and they come off like they're being used as a crutch. It's as if they didn't want to bother making their own beat or chorus. I guess it's inaccurate say this was a P. Diddy only thing, since J.R. Rotem did this shit all the time, including for Jason Derulo's debut single Whatcha Say. And even if Don't Wanna Go Home wasn't produced by them, it still has their stink all over it. The beat is taken from Show Me Love by Robin S and is almost completely unaltered. They took a beat from a 90s house song and used it for a 2010s club song, of course it didn't work. This beat is too light, it doesn't have enough grit for a club song like this. Jason Derulo also tries way too hard to sound aggressive and forceful here. He's trying to replicate an energy that the beat just doesn't have. There are two other samples here, one being from the Banana Boat Song, which is about as egregious as the Show Me Love one. Not only is it sung badly, but the Banana Boat Song is about Jamaican workers doing harsh, slave-like labor loading bananas onto ships to the U.S. Jamaican workers actually sung it themselves before it was popularized by artists (most notably Harry Belafonte). Taking that and using it as the chorus of a song about not wanting to leave a club when the sun comes up just seems wrong. It's one of those things you don't do. It feels a bit tactless is what I'm saying. This isn't even the only 2011 hit that sampled the Banana Boat Song, Lil Wayne did it too in 6 Foot 7 Foot, which was much better. The last sample is an interpolation of Get Low by Lil Jon at the start of the pre-chorus.

From the window to the wall

At this point it's like, you're already sampling 2 other songs, could you not have come up with your own lyrics here? It's one line. Don't Wanna Go Home is an ugly mess of badly, lazily used samples. It's a miserable song, and if I heard this being played at a club, I would want to go home.

#9: Katy Perry ft. Kanye West- E.T.

I'm someone who likes more Katy Perry songs than I care to admit. She's always been one of my guilty pleasure artists. Therefore you'd think E.T. would be one of my guilty pleasure songs. But nope, I can't stand this at all. For starters, the production is terrible. Annoying beeps that repeat the same note over and over again, a flat percussion line, the blaring buzzing noise in the chorus, it's all a mess of techno sounds. Everything is just too hard-hitting, it creates this horrible combination of stiff and heavy. It's like the song never has enough room to breath. Also that stuttering effect they play in the chorus gets old very fast. I'm not sure if the version with Kanye West is better or worse. His verse feels like it's approaching "so bad it's good" territory but his vocals are so dull and lifeless that it just goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes they slather a bunch of effects on his voice, and it's annoying but not even enough to be memorable. The same can be said about his bars.

Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck
Tell me what's next, alien sex?
I'ma disrobe you then I'ma probe you
See, I abducted you, so I tell you what to do
I tell you what to do, what to do, what to do

...Whatever you say man. I should probably talk about what this song is about. To be honest, I'm not sure. I don't know if it's about getting an STD or literally having sex with an alien. I don't care either. But I should probably still look it up. I know I've said I'm a proponent of death of the author... somewhere... probably, but I want to hear the songwriters' perspective.

According to Perry, the song is about "falling in love with a foreigner".

...You mean foreigner as in... someone from another country? Uh... you know what, let's just end the entry here. This song sucks.

#8: Waka Flocka Flame ft. Roscoe Dash, Wale- No Hands

I don't think many people will disagree when I say opinions are often basic. I can't think of many times when I'm actively against the most common consensus. This does mean however, that the few times it does happen feel very special. I wouldn't say No Hands by Waka Flocka Flame, Roscoe Dash and Wale is a widely beloved song, but it has a 3.72/5 average score on RYM as of writing this, which is extremely rare for a pop song released in the 2010s. That has to count for something. Clearly a lot of people like it, so my hot take for this list is that No Hands is terrible. And sometimes I feel like the only person who hates it this much. Lyrically, it's a pretty standard albeit raunchy strip club anthem, but that's not why I dislike it. When this song starts, you're immediately hit with this giant wall of noise. It's as if the mix is filled with a bunch of harsh, indistinguishable sounds that are as close to white noise as possible. The only sounds I can make out are the fakest sounding horns I've ever heard and a limp synthesizer line. This chorus is made even worse with Roscoe Dash's obnoxiously nasal singing where he sounds like he's making up the melody on the spot. He even has constant ad libs in the background that are extended for way too long and blend in with all the other indecipherable noises. It's too much. It's overly loud, it's overly harsh, it's overly cluttered, it has a broken melody, the singing is terrible, it's the worst of all worlds when it comes to club music. Waka Flocka Flame churns out two baldy sung verses with mediocre bars and constant, obnoxious ad libs in the background. Wale's verse is probably the best part of the song solely because of the lack of ad libs. I'll admit I'm kind of inherently biased against this song. It's loud, cluttered, and all the sounds blur together into an obnoxious collection of noise. It's all the things my brain feels like it's hardwired to hate. I can understand why a lot of people like it, but I would be happy if I never listened to it again for the rest of my life.

#7: Luke Bryan- Country Girl (Shake It for Me)

Bro country is such an easy punching bag that I almost feel like I'd be wasting my time explaining why this song sucks. I mean, come on, it's Country Girl (Shake It for Me) by Luke Bryan. But, for the sake of this list, I'll explain anyway. Luke Bryan is easily one of the worst artists to ever become popular in the 2010s. His music is so bad it becomes a stain on the entire country genre, much like bro country itself. And that stain is gonna take a long time to wash off. He has a very obnoxious dudebro persona that bleeds into his music in the worst way possible. He's like the country version of Nickelback. He's also not a particularly good singer. His vocal range is very limited and he consistently sings in a deep, unpleasant monotone (kinda like Pat Boone). I've gotten this far without even talking about the actual song but there's not much I could say. All these bro country songs are basically the same. Same obnoxious instrumentation where any and all country elements sound forced, same insufferable personality, same clichéd lyrics. They're so interchangeable that if I never said the names of the songs no one would know which one I'm talking about. It's like there was a mandate that none of them were allowed to stand out in any way. You could take any bro country song from the 2010s and I guarantee the lyrics will have at least four of these: beer, trucks, dirt roads, boots, hot girls, chewing tobacco, and this idea that they have to pander to audiences who don't listen to country at all in order to seem "cool". There's probably more that I'm missing. Why did they all do this? Hank Williams didn't have to do this. Glen Campbell didn't have to do this. John Denver didn't have to do this. But all these country artists in the 2010s felt the need to prove they're really country by throwing every cliché they could into their songs. It reeks of insecurity, and makes every bit of their personas come off as tacky. I'm sorry I didn't really talk about the song itself in this entry, but again, I just can't find much to say about it that doesn't apply to every other bro country song. That is except for one thing, the writing.

Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees
Shake it for the catfish swimmin' down deep in the creek
For the crickets and the critters and the squirrels
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me, girl

This song is about Luke Bryan telling a woman to shake her ass for everything. As in, literally everything. Even bugs, squirrels and fish. It's so obviously stupid and meat-headed that I'm sure it's supposed to be a joke. But the song plays it completely straight. And even if it didn't, Luke Bryan's very in your face dudebro persona makes everything inherently unfunny. There's no way in hell he could've made this work. If you want to know why so many zoomers hate country music, songs like this are a good starting point.

#6: Bruno Mars- The Lazy Song

Fun fact, Wikipedia lists this as a ska song. I have no idea why, nothing about this sounds remotely like ska. If anything it's WGWAG. And yes I know it's not technically accurate to call it that since Bruno Mars isn't white, but The Lazy Song still has all the worst hallmarks of the genre. The instrumentation is incredibly light, mostly only consisting of the strumming of a single guitar string alongside whistling in the chorus that is immediately annoying. It's a very cheap and lazy sounding song. And yes, I know, that's the point. It's literally called The Lazy Song. If I were a much more famous blogger I would anticipate someone making that defense in the comments. But like I said in the 2010 list when talking about the Kesha and 3OH!3 songs, I don't understand what The Lazy Song accomplished by intentionally sounding bad. For starters, it doesn't even sound bad in an interesting way, it's just a generic acoustic guitar song. There are millions of other songs that sound like this. And also, what does this song offer beyond that? It can't be the writing because it's godawful. It's full of terrible attempts at humor. Like this:

I'll be lounging on the couch, just chilling in my snuggie
Click to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie

and this:

I'm gonna kick my feet up, then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants

and this:

I'll just strut in my birthday suit (ooh-ooh)
And let everything hang loose

Seriously what's up with all the dick jokes in this song? The music and writing are bad enough on their own but the thing I hate most here are the vocals. Once again we have a song where the narrator's personality is insufferable and makes it harder to listen to. Bruno Mars delivers this song in a very smug attitude which is impossible to relate to. Yes, there are plenty of days where I don't feel like doing anything, but I can't remember the last time I was actively proud and bragging about that fact. It's one of the worst things you could possibly brag about. Whenever I listen to this song it just puts a bad taste in my mouth. Thank God Bruno Mars never released anything like this again.

#5: New Boyz ft. The Cataracs, Dev- Backseat

The New Boyz and guest artists from Like a G6 come together for Backseat, one of the worst aged electro-pop songs of the entire 2010s. This kind of ugly, cluttered, overproduced synth-pop production was already dated by 2013, and it’s especially hard to listen to today. And while the production may sound awful, it’s the vocals that are the worst part of the song. There’s way too much autotune, and way too many filters on everyone’s voices. Everyone sounds like a cheap robot. With how much crap they shove into the mix, this comes off as one of those songs that’s desperate to do anything to keep your attention. At the very start of this song, you’re immediately hit with every awful production choice at once. It’s one of the worst kinds of first impressions you can get from a pop song. Now, if you read my 2010 list, you’ll know this isn’t the first time I’ve put the New Boyz on a worst list. And to give Backseat some credit, if I were forced to choose between this and Tie Me Down, I’d probably say that this song is very, very slightly better. The writing isn’t quite as bad, the narrators aren’t quite as unlikeable, and the terrible production is at least a little more competent than whatever the hell Tie Me Down was going for. But still, like I said in the 2010 list, I can not stand the New Boyz’s personalities, which are on full display here.

Don't say a word just turn around and let me see
Girl you got some'n special, some'n special for me?
It's way too many suckers in the V.I.P.
Tell her got my car out front, tell me do you wanna kick it

The narrators aren't even doing much wrong here, it's just that the general sound and vocal deliveries make them come off as obnoxious and immature. They're the kind of loud idiots that'd make you want to avoid parties. Backseat was basically the end for the New Boyz. The only one of their songs that had any chart success after this was Better With the Lights Off with Chris Brown the same year. It only peaked at #38 on the Hot 100 and it's even worse than Backseat. The whole song is based on a really stupid joke. "Haha this woman looks better when the lights are off, as in when I can't see her". Yeah good one writers, hilarious. It's not hard to see why radio stations got sick of these guys' shtick.

#4: Enrique Iglesias ft. DJ Frank E, Ludacris- Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)

One of the most common criticisms of Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You) by Enrique Iglesias is that it's rapey. And listening to it, yeah, it's hard not to get that impression. The central message of the song, the phrase that's said in every repeat of the chorus, "tonight I'm fucking you", is, at best, an awful pick-up line. And at worst, it's a very destructive mindset that will lead you into becoming a monster. Whenever I listen to this song, I can't see the narrators as anything other than creeps. The fact that this sounds as bad as it does might actually be a blessing in disguise, because it reframes the whole thing into being sorta "funny bad". They literally start this song with half-assed yodeling, which they play multiple times throughout, even over the chorus and drop. And just look at how they lead into the title of the song in the chorus.

Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude
But tonight I'm fuckin' you

"Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude"? Come on guys, this is embarrassing. The production here is the same dull, cluttered crap you hear in so many bad electro-pop songs of the early 2010s, and it's aged about as well as spoiled milk. Enrique Iglesias's vocals are awful. They somehow managed to make it sound like he has a yodeling filter over all of this lines. Ludacris gives one of the worst, most half-assed verses I've ever heard from him. And as for the real star of the show, the drop? It just sounds like a bunch of synths spazzing out. The only "positive" thing I can say here is that Enrique Iglesias's single from 2013, Turn the Night Up, makes this sound a hell of a lot better.

#3: Hot Chelle Rae- Tonight Tonight

Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae does not sound like a real song. This sounds like if an AI program was asked to generate a rock song, and the fact that this is what passed for rock on the Hot 100 in 2011 says more about the state of rock as a genre in the 2010s than anything I could come up with. Todd in the Shadows really nailed it when he said this was a knockoff of a pop song. Yes, pop music is generic. It's always been generic. It's been this way since the 1950s. It's never been a genre that likes to break boundaries unless the artists are specifically forcing it to. But in the case of Tonight Tonight, it is so unbelievably generic that its very existence feels like a waste of space. This song doesn't even sound like it's trying. The melody, the instrumentation, and the vocals are all so calculated and predictable, it's like the song is just going through the motions. Take the vocals, for instance. They're annoying, but not in a unique or memorable way. They're just an even worse version of the kind of vocals you hear in every bad pop-rock song of the late 2000s and early 2010s, with a couple filters put over them to make them sound nauseating. The guitar and synth loops are the most basic, plastic sounding shit they could've possibly gone with. And the lyrics tell a very standard story about how the narrator's week has been shit and he wants to forget about it at a party. The way it's delivered makes him sound so juvenile. It's impossible to sympathize with him even as he says his girlfriend cheated on him.

And my girlfriend went and cheated on me

She's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her

La-la-la, whatever

La-la-la, it doesn't matter

Add in some bad pop culture references.

I woke up with a strange tattoo
Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket
And it kinda looks just like you
Mixed with Zach Galifianakis, huh?

And a couple cringey ad libs.

Oh-oh-oh (All you party people)
Woah-oh-oh (All you singletons)
Oh-oh-oh (Even the White kids)

And you got yourself a recipe for one of the worst songs of the entire 2010s decade. A song that shouldn't even be acceptable for Radio Disney, much less the pop charts. I get second hand embarrassment just thinking about this one, and considering how low its score on RYM is, I imagine most other people do too.

#2: The Black Eyed Peas- The Time (Dirty Bit)

While The E.N.D. may not have been the death of The Black Eyed Peas, their next album, The Beginning (consider this the universe's retribution for that stupid acronym) absolutely was. The Peas wouldn't release another album until 2018. And it was songs like The Time (Dirty Bit) that drove the public away. This, along with My Humps, is up there as one of their worst songs. It starts with will.i.am and Fergie singing a rendition of the chorus from (I've Had) the Time of My Life by Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley, then it abruptly shifts to playing the same take of Fergie saying "you" over and over again. It's choppy, badly edited, and sounds like shit. We get a sample of will.i.am saying "dirty bit" before possibly the worst drop of the entire 2010s. It's probably not the actual worst, but it's easily in the bottom 10. And it plays constantly throughout the verses. It's just this dull, grainy, monotonous barrage of noise. I'm not even sure how I'd describe it. I guess it's like if someone took a dubstep sample, stripped it of all power and personality, dulled it down and removed as much as note and synth variation as possible, and then smothered it in muddy studio effects. I'm sorry, that's the best I can do. The verses barely match the drop but to their credit, I'm not sure anything could. Both will.i.am and apl.de.ap sound like they're not even trying. And they really force a lot of these rhymes. will.i.am tries to rhyme "control" with "more" and "temperature" with "freakier". Maybe someone could've pulled off that latter one, but it certainly isn't will.i.am and his terrible robot voice. apl.de.ap tries to rhyme "maggots" with "baddest", and gives out possibly the worst line of 2011.

All-All these girls, they like my swagger, they callin' me Mick Jagger

Seriously why did so many people in the early 2010s think it was a good idea to constantly bring up Mick Jagger just because his last names rhymes with "swagger"? In contrast to the these two, Fergie does sound like she's trying. Which sucks because her verse is the worst part of the song. She sings everything in the most annoying inflection possible. I don't know why she insisted on sounding like this in so many songs from this time. She's a very talented vocalist, she doesn't have to sing like this. The Time was not only a band killer, it was a genre killer. The club boom crashed hard after 2011, and while it's hard to say The Time caused or even contributed to it, it was a sure sign that the genre was on its way out. And there's still one hit song from this year that was worse. So let's finally cap this list off.

Dishonorable Mentions

• Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera- Moves Like Jagger
• Jeremih ft. 50 Cent- Down on Me
• Lil Wayne- How to Love
• Bad Meets Evil ft. Bruno Mars- Lighters
• Pitbull ft. T-Pain- Hey Baby (Drop It to the Floor)
• Jason Aldean- Dirt Road Anthem
• Britney Spears- I Wanna Go
• Avril Lavigne- What the Hell
• Keri Hilson- Pretty Girl Rock
• David Guetta ft. Flo Rida, Nicki Minaj- Where Them Girls At

And the worst hit song of 2011 is...

#1: LMFAO- Sexy and I Know It

Some songs are so self-evidently terrible that even explaining why they suck feels like a waste of time. I made this point for The Flying Saucer on my 1956 worst list, and the same principle applies to Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO. The flat, repetitive bassline that repeats the same six notes over and over again, the shitty vocals from both members, the cheap synths, a drop that's somehow even worse than the one in The Time, it's got all the worst aspects of 2010s EDM and none of the upsides. It hardly sounds like it has a melody. There's nothing for your brain to attach to. And for a pop song, that's a complete failure. If you can't even manage to be catchy, if you can't even manage to have a chorus or drop that sounds satisfying or appealing in any way, you've failed. My brain just outright rejects what I'm hearing here. There's nothing to it. With the music being as bad as it is, the only thing left for this song to fall back on is the writing. And the writing is as bad as everything else. This is a comedy song where the main joke is that the narrator is walking around in public, presumably naked, or at least with a very visible bulge in his underwear, and swinging his shit around for everyone to see. All while insisting he's a sex god. Do you think that's funny? I certainly don't, and I can't imagine many other people thinking it is either. This song is best left to rot in the trash bin of history. LMFAO didn't see much success after this. They announced they were going on an indefinite hiatus in September 2012 and never went back to making music. It's probably the most fitting way this duo could've gone out. Not with a bang or even a definitive end, but with a break that never ended. Their music will forever be a relic of the worst the early 2010s could shit out. Congratulations to Sexy and I Know It for the being the worst hit song of 2011.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked the list. And I'll see you in the next blog, whatever that will be.