The Worst Hit Songs of 1957

The Worst Hit Songs of 1957

I didn't even think I'd do this list. But then I though "eh, what the hell". So I listened through the 1957 Year-End Top 100, which was quite a bit more difficult to find than the 1958 list. The Top 50 is on Wikipedia, linked here, but the bottom half was a chore to find. Still, I was able to do it, and just like with the worst songs of 1958 list, I'll post screenshots of the Year-End at the end of this blogpost.

I haven't said this very clearly before, but I kinda just don't like 50s music in general. A lot of it has not held up and sounds either boring, cheap or annoying. Or all three. 1957 thankfully did not have as many novelty songs as 1958 and 1959, but it was still a pretty bad and boring year for the Hot 100. The main trend this year was rockabilly, with doo wop and R&B following closely behind. There were also a lot of cover songs this year. There were literally eight sets of the same song on this YE list. With all that said, let's finally get into the worst pop music 1957 gave us. As far as I can tell, this is the only worst songs of 1957 list on the internet, so I hope this will be interesting.

#10: Joe Bennett & the Sparkletones- Black Slacks

This song was #100 on the 1957 Year-End. That's not relevant to anything, I just thought it was worth mentioning. Anyway, "Black Slacks" by Joe Bennett & the Sparkletones is incredibly stupid. It's a novelty song, one of like two on the Year-End, and it's about how cool the lead singer's black slacks are. Women he passes by can not help but look at his black slacks. As with most 50s and 60s "comedy" songs, it's not funny at all. And even looking past that, it doesn't sound good. Musically, it's a very basic rockabilly track with bad nasal vocals. The singers even do a lip buzz (which I usually call "motorboating", not to be confused with the sexual kind) multiple times. It's a very annoying song. Some might find it fun but for me I'd be glad to never hear it again.

#9: Paul Anka- Diana

"Diana" is the song that kickstarted Paul Anka's career and made him a household name. It also shows that he was a bad artist from the start. The instrumentation is very hokey sounding, led by a loud, tuneless horn. Anka's singing is just as tuneless as the instrumentation. After nearly every word he stops for a split second as if each word is its own sentence. I don't blame him for it, the instrumentation clearly calls for that style of singing, but he does not have the vocal range to pull it off. The end result is a song that sounds like an uncoordinated mess. Anka also sounds very whiny, and goes through this entire love song without an ounce of charisma. Going by the lyrics, he's upset that people don't want him and Diana to be together because she's supposedly too old for him. Considering that Anka was 15 when he recorded this, yeah she probably is. I don't care at all about his "struggle" and just want him to get over it. "Diana" isn't Paul Anka's worst song, but it is emblematic of all his worst habits as an artist.

#8: Harry Belafonte- Mama Look at Bubu

I really didn't want to put Harry Belafonte on this list. He was an absolute legend who led an amazing life. Beyond being behind some of the best music of the 50s, he was a prominent civil rights activist who even helped bail MLK Jr. out of Birmingham Jail in 1963. But even great artists have their duds, and "Mama Look at Bubu" is his. The instrumentation is a chintzy sounding mess where a bunch of instruments come in and out at random. No care is made to make it sound cohesive. Even the vocal melody is bad, as in it sounds like Belafonte is making it up as he goes along. The chorus in general is structured very awkwardly and sounds oddly unsatisfying. The worst part about this song is the writing. It's another novelty song, and the narrator talks about how no one likes him because he's ugly. Not even his children like him. The joke is very surface level and never goes beyond the lead singer being ugly. There's also a pretty off-putting verse in the middle.

I couldn't even digest me supper
Due to the children's behavior
John (Yes, pa), come here a moment
Bring de belt, you're much too impudent
John says it's James who started first
James tells the story in reverse
I drag my belt from off me waist
You should hear them screamin' 'round de place

I feel like music is the worst medium to make a joke like this because there's no visual way to frame it creatively. The lead singer can't really do any voice acting either. So the joke is just that the father is beating his child, as if the act itself is inherently funny. It's not, it's too realistic a scenario and makes me uncomfortable listening to it. Harry Belafonte is still a legend, but this was a disappointment.

#7: Jerry Lewis- Rock-a-Bye Your Baby With a Dixie Melody

Yes, Jerry Lewis had a singing career. In 1957, his big hit was a cover of "Rock-a-Bye Your Baby With a Dixie Melody" (god what a title). This song was probably(?) first recorded by Al Jolson in 1918. Fun fact, this song has an average rating of 1.95/5 on RateYourMusic. Even if it only has 12 ratings, that is an abysmal score, especially for a 50s song. Songs this old are usually not well known by a lot of people, so the only ratings will be from people who remember it and like it. Not the case here, and it's not hard to see why. Jerry Lewis can not sing. He just can't. He can't hold a note, can't carry a melody, and sings the entire song in a terrible nasal tone. I'd say even John Travolta is a better singer than Jerry Lewis. Also some of these lyrics are... questionable.

Just hang my cradle, mammy mine
Right on the Mason Dixon line
And swing it from Virginia

To Tennessee with all the love that's in ya!

Hearing these lines out of a white singer just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Worth noting that Al Jolson was the actor who appeared in blackface in "The Jazz Singer". Yeah, safe to say this song has aged badly.

#6: Larry Williams- Bony Moronie

I know the two were friends but Larry Williams strikes me as someone who really wanted to be another Little Richard and just couldn't pull it off all the time. He had a very hit or miss discography. Sometimes you got classics like "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" and "Slow Down", and other times you got "Bony Moronie". This sounds like a watered down Little Richard song. It's not necessarily bad, but it's nothing special. Then there's the writing. The narrator calls his girlfriend "Bony Moronie", because:

I got a girl named Bony Moronie

She's as skinny as a stick of macaroni

Oughta see her rock 'n' roll with her blue jeans on

She's not very fat, just skin and bone

But I love her and she loves me

Oh how happy now we can be

Makin' love underneath the apple tree

"Skin and bone"? Is she anorexic? People are gonna say I'm looking too much into it, but I can not listen to this song without imagining this guy with his extremely underweight girlfriend and calling her "Bony Moronie". That's really mean, and the song does not sound good enough for me to ignore it. Maybe I could accept the premise if the song didn't go out of its way to say she's "skin and bone", which is an actual description given to actual people who are dangerously skinny or starving to death. It makes the song less of a goofy metaphor and more real. Also "as skinny as a stick of macaroni"? Macaroni isn't skinny, it's hollow. It's a minor thing I know they put in because few other words would've sounded good there, but it's just distracting enough to make me dislike the song more.

#5: Guy Mitchell- Rock-a-Billy

Guy Mitchell, an artist who mainly does pop country, decided to step out of his comfort zone and make a rockabilly song. It was a risk that backfired hard. In spite of the name, "Rock-a-Billy" does not remotely sound like rockabilly. For most of the song, the only audible instruments are a piano and tambourine, until the very end when sporadic guitar strings are suddenly played. On top of that, the song is extremely repetitive. Just look at the chorus:

Rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock

Rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock, rock, rock

Rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock

Rock-a-billy, rock-a-billy, rock, rock

This is sung five times before the song ends. Guy Mitchell barely even changes his inflection on the repeats. This song is like the 50s equivalent of low effort brainrot. I'm surprised TikTok hasn't run it into the ground already.

#4: Pat Boone- Remember You're Mine

Pat Boone had five songs on the 1957 Year-End. Five. I was shocked to see he had that many. All of them were bad, but some stood out from the rest. This is "Remember You're Mine". Musically it has all the same problems as every other Pat Boone song. It's boring and Pat Boone's vocals are bad. He has a deep, monotone singing voice that's very unpleasant and has no range. That's not the main problem though. What makes this song stand out is the writing. It's about a guy telling his girlfriend not to get with other guys during the summer. The premise itself is fine, but really pay attention to how he says it.

If you go dancin'

And he holds you tight

(And he holds you tight)

And your lips are tempted

On a summer night

(On a summer night)

Your heart beats faster

When the stars start to shine

Just remember, darlin'

Remember you're mine

(Remember you're mine)

He is putting a lot of detail into this hypothetical scenario he imagined where his girlfriend cheats on him. And remember, from the context of the song, this is all supposed to said directly to her. He's directly telling his girlfriend "hey don't cheat on me when you're away. Even when you're in his arms and your heart is beating fast, don't cheat on me". It's very overly paranoid. This verse makes it even worse:

I'll be lonely
I'll be blue
But I promise
I'll be true

"Yeah I know I'll be true. Can't say the same about you though." This kind of attitude toward your partner seems incredibly unhealthy. You think so little of them that you think they need to be told an imagined scenario of them wanting badly to cheat on you to get them not to do it. And then you can't even hold yourself to the same standard. It's really dickish. This isn't the worst Pat Boone song this year. That's coming later. But this is still the closest a song has ever come to making me want the narrator to be cheated on. Off the top of my head at least.

#3: Thurston Harris- Little Bitty Pretty One

The top 3 songs on this list all have the same problem: the lyrics are creepy and have aged badly. First up is "Little Bitty Pretty One" by Thurston Harris. I've said before I really hate the 50s/60s trend of adult men calling adult women "little girl", and just from the title you can already tell this is gonna be bad (they just had to add the word "bitty" along with "little"). It's not like the writing is helping matters:

Tell you a story
Happened long time ago
Little bitty pretty one
I've been-a watchin' you grow

Why did so many songwriters in the 50s and 60s insist on making the narrator sound like a pedophile? This is not the only problem with the writing, by the way. In fact, nearly half the song is just Thurston Harris humming this:

Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm
Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm
Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm
Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm

Needless to say, it gets old very fast. This song has been covered a lot throughout the years, including by the Jackson 5, and I have no idea why. It's not unique nor did it take any risks for its time. Whatever's drawing people in here, I'm not seeing it.

#2: The Coasters- Young Blood

Next in the line of creepy songs is "Young Blood" by the Coasters. Again, the title alone evokes bad vibes. The lyrics tell a story of a man who sees a girl on the sidewalk, walks up to her, and follows her home. When he gets there, her dad says "you better leave my daughter alone". Combine this with the fact that all the singers are in their mid to late 20s and keep calling this girl "Young Blood", and you can see what the problem is. The girl doesn't even talk to the narrator in the song. Hell, the lyrics explicitly state that they didn't talk to each other:

I took one look and I was fractured
I tried to walk but I was lame
I tried to talk but I just stuttered
What's your name? What's your name?
What's your name? What's your name?

Just try and picture this in your mind. Our male narrator goes up to a girl who he calls "Young Blood", they never talk to each other but he still follows her home, then once she gets inside her house, her dad tells him to leave her alone. This guy sounds like a massive creep and pedophile going after underage girls. The only saving grace of this song is accidental. The writers unintentionally made the narrator sound like a vampire. Beyond the obvious point of him calling this girl "Young Blood", it's implied this interaction happened at night, and he can't go into her house because her father doesn't let him (hence, he didn't invite him in). I actually can't listen to this song without thinking about vampires, but now I'm getting off topic. The point is this song is awful. So what could be worse?

Dishonorable Mentions

Pat Boone- Love Letters in the Sand / Why Baby Why / Bernardine
The Coasters- Searchin'
Frankie Laine- Moonlight Gambler
Larry Williams- Short Fat Fannie
Tony Bennett- In the Middle of an Island
The Four Lads- Who Needs You
Steve Lawrence- Party Doll
Sal Mineo- Start Movin' (In My Direction)
Patience & Prudence- Gonna Get Along Without Ya Now
Marvin Rainwater- Gonna Find Me a Bluebird

And the worst hit song of 1957 is...

#1: Pat Boone- Don't Forbid Me

Yep, just like with 1958, the worst hit song this year was by Pat Boone. Sometimes you gotta go for the easy targets. "Don't Forbid Me" is... well, just by the title you probably already know why it's on the list.

Don't forbid me to hold you tight
A-darlin', don't-a forbid me to hold you tight
Let me hold you in my lovin' arms
'Cause it's cold and I can keep you warm

A-don't-a forbid me to kiss your lips
A-darlin' don't-a forbid me to kiss your lips
Let me kiss you please, baby, please
'Cause it's cold and your lips might freeze

No, just no. Why would you even say "don't forbid me"? It sounds so ominous. It's worse than "don't say no" because you're making it clear this woman's say means absolutely nothing to you. You've already made up your mind and you're doing it whether she likes it or not. And of course, Pat Boone's deep, monotone singing only makes the song creepier. After listening to a ton of 50s pop music, I'm getting sick of songs like this, but I'm probably going to listen to a lot more if I continue through this decade. Ugh...

And those were the worst songs of 1957. Considering I did a worst list for this year, I might as well do one for 1956 too. I can't guarantee anything though. Have a nice day and see you in the next blog.

1957 Year End Top 100: